


I Remember The Day

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I remember the day I figured out I was gay. I remember the day I figured out I was in love with a guy who was, really, way too old for me. I remember the day I told my friends. I remember the day I told my sister. I remember the day I told my parents. Most of all, I remember the day I told him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Remember The Day

**Author's Note:**

> I was on this generator thing and it popped out the first line, 'I remember the day'. So this was born! I hope you enjoy, my dear readers!

_I remember the day I figured out I was gay._

It was exactly four days after Sam and I had decided to break off our romance. I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry. Really, if anything, I felt rather relieved. It was no problem for me to act normal, like we'd never dated, like we'd always been just friends.

My parents thought I was bottling it up, but instead of pestering me to let it out like  _normal_  parents, they let me have my space. I sometimes wonder if they were just too focused on whatever ghost killing invention they'd been working on at the time to really stop and care.

Unlike them, Jazz started to ask. It took longer than I expected though. She left me alone for three days, but on the fourth she barged into my room and started saying that it was okay to let it out. I was, understandably, confused. Let  _what_ out? That's the thought that ran through my mind. But what came out of my mouth was...

"What are you  _talking_ about?"

"Your feelings, Danny! You just had your first breakup! You must be feeling SOME sadness!"

When she put it like that, I guess it made sense. I thought about it for a minute. I should have been sad. I wouldn't gone and dated Sam if I hadn't liked her, if I wasn't attracted to her, right?

But the more I thought about it, the more I started to think,  _maybe I wasn't attracted to her._ And when I thought even harder about it, I started to think,  _maybe I don't even like girls at all?_

Of course I'd notice if a girl was particularly attractive. But heck, I do that with shoes! Doesn't mean I wanna make out with them!

The more I thought, the more I really wondered if I'd ever been  _truly_  attracted to a girl, the more I realized that I  _hadn't_.

"Danny? You look like you've seen a ghost"

My sister's not-so-clever joke brought me out of my thoughts. I considered telling her, but since I was just coming to terms with it right then, I decided against it. Instead, I told her that I was taking my feelings on the ghosts I beat up. She seemed like she didn't really believe me, but sighed, gave me a hug, and left my room.

If it's any consolation to my conscience, I did start taking out my frustration and confusion about my newly-discovered sexuality on ghosts  _after_ that conversation. It seemed like a good idea. (And it helped, in any case)

_I remember the day I figured out I was in love._

It wasn't like it went from 'I hate your guts leave me alone' to 'I love you so much kiss me' overnight. It was little things that morphed into bigger things, then those bigger things became giant things, and those giant things morphed into actual, true, affectionate love. I hated it and if feelings were physical I would have punched them.

It started when I'd catch myself thinking things that, under normal, 'no I don't love him' circumstances, would never even cross my  _mind_.

Things like, 'I wonder how he'd look without the ponytail'. Or 'He must be lonely, should I visit him?' And 'He hasn't bothered me in a while, should I go check on him?'

I voiced that last one to Sam and Tucker one day when we were eating at Nasty Burger.

It was the response I received that made me realize that this was the start of the formation of totally new feelings.

"Yeah, now that you mention it. You should go check, there's probably something he's planning, taking his time with"

I was about to open my mouth and correct Tucker, tell him that I was worried about his well-being, not something he may have been planning, when I caught myself, my mind replaying that thought.

I was worried about  _his well-being_.  _Him_ , of all people! There were so many reasons I should have been suspicious, not concerned, but damn it, my feelings just  _had_ to betray me.

I felt sick. It manifested in my stomach, not enough to make me want to throw but enough to have me not wanting to be around my friends much longer.

I told them that I was feeling nauseous, gaining concerned looks from them that I brushed off as I ran out the door, into an abandoned alley. I made sure that the coast was clear before I changed into Phantom and sped off home, landing in front of the door so my parents wouldn't be confused if they went up and saw me without actually seeing me enter the house. I walked in, and found that the only person in the living room was Jazz, who was watching some documentary on TV. She gave me a wave and a smile, which a returned, the smile being slightly forced. I know she noticed but she, thankfully, didn't ask as I all but ran upstairs.

I tried to tell myself that it was a phase, that it would pass, that it was really nothing to worry about. I figured that if I spent more time around him, it would pass even faster. I don't really understand my own logic, but I guess if I'd tried to avoid him I'd only start thinking of him more.

So, the next day, when my parents said we were going on a week-long vacation, I took the chance. Over the course of the next few days I started acting more lethargic, faking pains and generally acting sick. They tried to cancel the vacation, but I played the considerate son and whined that I didn't want to ruin their fun time. And, like I knew he would, my dad jumped in with the idea to let me stay with _him_ , my enemy, my secret affection, during the course of their vacation.

When they called him, he agreed wholeheartedly, and to this day I still can't fully believe what he'd told me during my stay, just based on how eager he was from the moment he heard mom say 'I need a favor'.

They dropped me off at his mansion, my mom hugging and kissing me until I had enough and said that I didn't want her to catch my 'sickness'. So she reluctantly left, my dad patting his old college friend on the back before he climbed into the car. I caught the look Jazz sent me, like she was analyzing me. I wondered if I'd said something, done something that would make it obvious that I was faking. She didn't say anything though, and they left me with the handsome billionaire, in his giant mansion. He turned to me, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Was a family vacation so horrible that you'd rather stay with an enemy, Daniel?"

I huffed. Of course he knew.

"Yes. It would be fine if mom and dad didn't insist on walking around with ghost detectors wherever we go. They beep constantly around me, in case you didn't realize. Kinda reduces the fun"

He just gave a laugh in reply to that as he led me up to where I'd be sleeping for this week. I was just relieved that he didn't press me, because no matter how sure I was that this was a passing phase - not even a real  _crush_ \- I didn't need him knowing of it in any way.

Well, let me just say that it was the most frustrating week of my entire life. Sexually, emotionally, and really just in general. Staying away from him and  _thinking_ of him would have been so much easier to handle. I had to deal with seeing him  _all. The. Time._  Since he doesn't cook or clean or generally do shit for himself, he was left with plenty of free time to pester me. Well, 'pester', I guess isn't the right word. He was just trying to get to know me, though at first I was convinced it was some sort of plot.

"Why are you asking me this?! Why do you even pretend to care?!"

This was what I screamed, two days into my stay while he talked to me about colleges and schoolwork.

"I'm not pretending, Daniel" he said, his eyebrows turned in a way that made me wonder if I'd - god forbid - hurt his feelings. Either way, his genuine tone of voice made me mutter an apology, as my cheeks turned a pale pink that I hoped he didn't notice but knew he did.

The next three days, he helped me with some of the math that had stumped me the previous school year, and he gave me some pointers on how to handle whatever math I'd deal with when the summer ended. He helped me understand it, he was really patient with me, and damn it I think the possibility of him truly caring about me gave my feelings that extra push.

I had just given a correct answer to a problem, using the method he'd shown me. The grin he gave me, the tender way he said 'Good job' to me, had me thinking of what he might do if I kissed him, right then. I was about to actually find out, but before I could even try to lean in, I caught myself, thank god. I let out a crazy yelp, jumping up and trying to slow my racing heartbeat as I did my best not to look at him.

"Daniel? Are you-"

"I'm fine!" I screamed. Feeling my face burn uncontrollably, I ran off, saying that I was going to go nap before dinner. I was thankful that he didn't try to stop me, other than him calling for me to tell him what was wrong.

That was only the beginning of when I truly began to love him.

_I remember the day I told my friends._

It was some time during the next school year. My grades had been doing really well, better than last year, thanks to his help. My dear, dear friends were trying to find me a girlfriend, with Sam talking me up to potential interests, though it always fell flat when they would ask why we broke up. Tucker tried to start rumors of certain girls liking me, but that only ended worse when it got back to said girls. I think he wanted them to panic and wonder how someone found out, but all it did was make them angry. They tracked him down as the origin of the rumors and chewed him out pretty bad. He's lucky they didn't physically hurt him.

Anyway though, I was pretty fed up with their 'matchmaking', so one day I invited them to my house. I couldn't tell them in a public place like Nasty Burger, since someone else would probably overhear. So I had them sit on my bed, while I stood up, looked them in the eyes, and said it simply.

"I'm gay"

They were shocked at first, of course. But what they said kind of threw me for a loop.

"So I should talk you up to guys then?" Sam asked.

"I really can't spread rumors about any of the dudes without fearing for my safety. Maybe if I do it digitally, I can create a fake online alias and do it that way..." Tucker said, clearly thinking to himself about which guys he'd try to hook up with me.

As happy as I was that they were so nice and respectful about it, I still didn't want them to do any of this matchmaking anymore. So I went ahead and told them about my object of affections.

"I'm in love with Vlad"

That got them to go silent in the middle of a debate on whether Tucker should have a female alias to rule him out of the suspect list. Sam's eyes were wide, but not in disgust, more like she was trying to analyze whether I was joking or not before she thought of a response. Tucker had his lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes narrowed slightly. Somehow I felt like he was trying to picture some sort of wedding between me and Vlad.

"Are you sure it's real love? I mean, when did it start? How do you really-"

"Sam. I just know. It's been long enough, if it were a phase it would've passed by now"

She gave me small nod, pursing her lips slightly.

"Listen, dude. Don't take this the wrong way. I'm just trying to cover the bases here, 'cause other than the age difference and general craziness, there's no  _issue_. He hasn't come after your mom in forever, after all. I'm just asking this to be totally sure. Have you fought Ember recently? At all?" Tucker asked. It was a reasonable question, so I didn't get angry at all.

"The last time I fought her was four months before I started to develop the feelings" I replied honestly. They both nodded their heads, still trying to come to terms with the whole me-loving-my-archenemy deal.

"Well... Um, good luck. I'm not sure how to support my friend who's fallen for a crazy guy who's at least twenty years older than him and tried to steal his mom, but you can't blame me. I doubt that's ever happened before. But... You can defend yourself, if something happens, so I'll just... Be okay with it" Sam said, her voice hesitant and uncertain. I just gave a soft chuckle and thanked her for her support, however unsure she may be about it.

_I remember the day I told my sister._

I wouldn't have told them if not for my friends pushing me. They said that, since she was so smart with psychology and all that, it would be a good idea to talk to her. I had to wait until Christmas break when she came home from college for a few days. I managed to get her alone one night, asking her if we could talk in my room for a bit. She seemed worried, and immediately agreed.

The moment she sat down on my bed, I said the first half of my secret.

"I'm gay"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Okay. I still love you, you're still my brother... If you're so worried that I'll see you any differently, there's no-"

"I'm in love with Vlad"

That stopped her voice in its tracks, her eyes wide as she stared at me. Again, it wasn't disgust. She was staring at me with shock, and perhaps a bit of concern.

"You... You know that there are... So many issues with that, right?"

"Yeah, I know" I replied, a brick made of guilt, sorrow and fear setting itself on my heart.

"If you waited until you were eighteen to try any sort of relationship... Well even then, you'd turn some heads. He'd risk his image by doing that. You, too, you'd face ridicule, and I can imagine so many people creating horrible rumors, rumors that I can clearly see in my mind but I won't say out loud. And he's very possessive, as evidenced by his twenty-year jealousy streak with mom..."

She stopped in her ramble, looking up at my face. I have to wonder what was so pathetic about my expression that caused her gaze to soften, along with her voice as she started to talk again.

"I won't stop you from pursuing it. But I know how fragile your emotions are, even if you tend not to let it show. I want you to fully understand the risks, the very real possibility of people heckling you and whispering about you everywhere you go, whether he's with you or not, and tell me then if you still think it would worth it"

I took a deep breath. I knew about those risks. I knew about others too, like him manipulating me if he really didn't feel the same. Or what would happen if mom and dad discovered we were in a relationship.

But there was only one answer that came to mind.

"If he feels the same, if he can deal with all of the risks, then I can deal with it too"

Jazz nodded her head in understanding.

"Please don't do anything until you turn eighteen, in any case. It's only a little while away, but you aren't a legal adult yet. He could get in real trouble if anything came out to the media before then"

I just nodded my head, saying that of course I wouldn't say anything while I was still a minor, keeping to myself the fact that actually confessing had never crossed my mind before this conversation anyway.

_I remember the day I told my parents._

Of course I didn't tell them about who I loved. But I felt it necessary to tell them about my sexuality.

I tried not to seem nervous when I walked down to the lab, Jazz behind me for moral support. Mom and dad were looking at some blueprints for another ghost-killing thing, unaware that it would also harm me.

"Mom? Dad?" I said, my voice shaking a bit. They turned and greeted me, both with huge smiles as they asked what I needed.

"I... I'm gay"

It came out a lot meeker than when I'd told Sam and Tucker, or Jazz. Still, their reactions were pretty much the same. Immediate acceptance.

"Oh, that's nice honey. Do you like any boys?" Mom asked. Dad just gave an approving smile before looking at the blueprint again.

"Um, not in particular" I replied, my face turning pink. She just laughed, gave me a hug, and went back to their design. Jazz didn't speak until we were back up in the living room.

"I'm so proud of you. You were so brave" she said, smiling comfortingly as she hugged me tightly. I did my best to control my shaking as I returned the embrace, my heart pounding like crazy in my chest. I was never sure of their stance on homosexuality, since it was never really brought up, so I was relieved to say the least.

_Most of all, I remember the day I told him._

Two months after my eighteenth birthday, I finally was ready to tell him. I had been encouraged by Sam, teased but also supported by Tucker, and drafted a simple confession with the help of Jazz.

"It will be fine" they'd all said, but I could hear the doubt in their voices too. They knew as well as I did that the possibilities of being rejected or manipulated were very real risks, much larger than the chance that he'd return my affections. But they didn't want me to back out and end up never saying anything, end up with a ton of regrets later in life, so they supported me to the best of their ability until I flew off to Wisconsin.

I arrived at his mansion in what felt like such a short time that I briefly wondered if Clockwork was screwing with me, but disregarded it as I landed, went back to my human form, and knocked on the door.

It took him a while, since it was such a big house and he obviously didn't expect me to visit, but when he did open the door, his confusion and apprehension was bluntly on his face.

"Can I come in? I gotta tell you something"

He examined me, probably looking for a reason to think this was a trap or whatever, but he did open the door wide and allow me inside. He led me to his living room, where I sat on a couch while he sat in one of the chairs, facing me.

"What is it that you felt the need to tell me, in person, without calling first?"

I took a deep breath.

"I-I'm... That's to say, uh... What I mean is... Well..."

i sputtered, trying to piece together a coherent sentence while he stared at me in amusement. I'd completely forgotten what Jazz had said. Phrases like 'ease into it' and 'get it over with' were muddled in my head but I couldn't recall which one she said would have more advantages.

"Daniel, honestly. It can't be that bad"

That kind of pissed me off, actually. He had no right to tell me how _bad_ my feelings were, before I even told him!

"Shut up, fruitloop! It _is_ that bad, for your information! I'm trying to sit here and find a way to say that I'm in love with you!"

There was a sudden, tense silence as we both let what I'd just said sink in.

To this day, I don't think I've ever been so scared and hopeful at once. I don't think I've ever felt my heart race as fast as it did when he stood up from the chair and sat next to me instead. And I really don't think I've ever been so relieved and elated when he replied, his eyes shining with pure honesty and his mouth a genuine grin of both happiness and relief.

"I love you too, Daniel"


End file.
